First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You can't just leave with hair like that
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
