She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
