if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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