One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Even my vagina gasped.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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