She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
