Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No subtext here. People are naked.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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