People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
