Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
