I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm sobbing to NWA
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
