Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
