you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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