i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
