Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
