Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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