It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I came so hard my ears popped.
where are my eyebrows?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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