I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The power of my boobs compel you
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
