Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
