He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
high people should be assigned attendants
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Randomize
