Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
