my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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