Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
