More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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