I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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