yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
