I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
