Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I touched a dick in church today
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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