So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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