I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
