May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
