I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
