Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
