she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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