Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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