the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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