yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
