Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
