dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
