the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
