OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
