wat bout pragnant strippers??
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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