Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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