This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Still dying that you shit outside
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
