god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
