Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
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