Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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