why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
