Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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