Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i think i just lost a toe
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
