My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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