Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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