So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
